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Is a pimp. No, seriously. She's got about thirty wives. So, wait, that was our mistake. She's not a pimp. She's Mormon. *is shot*


Notable ThingsEdit

  • Has collected a good thirty-ish people as her bitches loving wives. No, seriously. She's counted.
  • Was the first to post Catshark on the PeTA thread in the version 1.0 forums.
  • Engaged in a long and hard-fought war against Near for the right to Buttcake's eternal love. Which she totally won, by the way.
  • Has nothing against raping the hell out of the caps lock key, but can't stand people who use more than one exclamation mark at once.
  • Likes the phrase, "No, seriously."
  • Is frequently mistaken for a male, and gets quite frustrated whenever her gender is forgotten.
  • In any form of anonymous /ts/-related posting, she will be mistaken for either JB or Near 9 times out of 10.

Family TreeEdit

Frees was born the daughter of Buttcake and Fapsauce, both of whom she later married. In a dramatic twist, it was revealed several months later that Buttcake had cheated a lot on everyone, and the identity of Frees' real father remains a mystery. Buttcake says it's probably King, but the paternity test results are still pending. On the 1.0 forums, she spent all her time in Fangirl Encounters before realizing how many of the stories were complete bullshit. When the second forums went up, she was disgusted by how messy the layout was, and was secretly glad when they crashed. On the third (or second, depending on how you counted the forums in the move) forums, she started spending all her time in Chit Chat, the Roleplaying Universe, and the Clubhouse, because contributing something worthwhile to the site is for pussies. On the latest and greatest forums, she basically does nothing but check the Thread of LOL and You Shall Be Going to Hell Soon like an addict and lurk a couple other boards.

When she started posting in the Hetalia thread, she quickly fell in love with and married Mmm Awesomesauce.

And somnus.

And Looking For Laos, who was called Margarine Queen at the time. And is now called Margarine Queen again. For convenience's sake, let's just call her Queenie.

And thus began her slow but sure conquering of everything in her path.

Her total count of wives grows and shrinks depending on how many people join the Hetalia club and how many people leave it or the forums entirely. Let's call it thirty.

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