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You just lost The Game.


General Biography Edit

What She Believes Edit

:Kat, Queen of Tonga and Olypmic dart thrower, began her literary career at the age of nine where she presented to her elementary school class a piece she had written called "My Life as a Turnip Blossom". She was quickly labelled a lunatic and burned for witchcraft in 1904 in downtown Kelowna, the site of which is now a Wendys. Despite her protests for being burned, Kat went on to do great things, including becoming the self proclaimed ruler of the free world in 2007 as well as the Prime Minister of Canada in 2008.




When asked, Kat's closest friend, Charles Xavier has reported that she shows all the signs of being a mutant, with 36% of her body mass made up of medical grade surgical steel. Along with a great fiction master, Kat has presented to society on a number of occasions her piece de resistance "The Stage Play: The Evil Doings of a Rubix Cube." Although the Stage Play has been banned by 11 countries and claimed by some to be filled with communist propaganda, Kat has been quoted as saying "It is simply my true beliefs, filled with nothing but self-insertion and the greatest plot of all time. I am now more than a turnip blossom. I am the womb of the earth. I am life itself." A 60 Minutes interview with Kat resulted in Morley Safer being taken to the emergency room where he was whisked into emergency and had a large unidentified root vegetable removed from his colon.



After 3,428 days in a coma, Safer awoke suddenly, screaming "The goose! My god! I'm not a goose!" Kat refused comment. In 1989 Kat made her debut at Radio City Music Hall, taking the lead in the short lived adaption of Karl Rove's life up to that point. The script was cowritten by Kat and was received with only moderately positive reviews by critics. Following a 3 performance run, 'Roving with Karl' was closed and Kat was said to have locked herself in her upper Manhattan apartment where she began arguably the greatest play of her life, 'Gee Wilikers, Henry!' GWH, as it is affectionately known by its fans, is the life story of a potter who, following a nasty accident involving a motor brigade and several bushels of apples, is left with no vision and a slight over bite. Kat has reportedly considered this an autobiographical piece, although not her own. Rumors persist that it is the life story of her one time lover, Henry Wilikers. Reporters who spoke to Mr. Wilikers could not tell whether he negated this fact or not through his heavily braced mouth.




In a recent interview with the Associated Press, Kat has expressed love and admiration for such great comedy figures Stephen T. Colbert, Hugh Laurie, Jon Stewart and, for some reason, Miley Cyrus (who upon being mentioned forced Kat into a fit of hysterical laughter followed by vomiting sounds not easily translated to the written language.) Kat also lists Gregg Hurwitz, Tess Gerritsen, and the Kellerman's to be her favorite authors; Johnny Depp to be her favorite actor, and Granny Smith to be not only her favorite apple, but also her favorite Smith. In 1997 Kat was spotted locked tightly in the arms of Edjuardo Julio Zazzparazz the 14th, Heir to the Irish potatoe fortune. Despite comments from both their publicists denying the rumors of a steady relationship, the paparazzi pursued the couple relentlessly until finally, in December of 1998, Zazzparazz took to the skies in an air balloon and was never seen again, citing he could not pursue a relationship with Kat despite his love of her, and was going off in search of a better world they could live in, and a cure to the common run-on sentence.


What is Real Edit

:Kat joined TSdc following her first shocking meeting with a copy of Breaking Dawn when she worked at HMV. So disgusted by what she read she was left with no alternative but to hunt the internet in search of others like her. It was there that she found the beacon of light that was TwilightSucks. That's pretty much it. She posted a lot right away, made a name for herself with her Stephen Colbert Avatars and pithy sayings in her signature. That's about it.

:She lives in Red Deer, Alberta. Hahaha! My city is above her city! If we were in jail, her city would be my city's bitch!

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